Unplanned Parenthood
by ariathal2410
Summary: Or the story in which Mana accidentally kidnaps a child, and the child refuses to leave. Modern AU, Oneshot


**WARNINGS:** Probable OOC, technically kidnapping

 _Disclaimer:_ don't own D. Gray-Man or its characters

 **AN:** Just so you know, Mana and Neah are in their mid-twenties and Allen's eight and tiny.

* * *

"Neah…" Mana called again, voice verging on a wail. He stared helplessly at the packaging in front of him. Neah was gonna be _so_ mad. When he finally responded anyway…

"Neah…" He whined feebly. Neah's head hit his desk with a groan.

" _What_." The man finally growled. Mana almost flinched, chuckling nervously.

"Neah… I messed up a bit, but don't freak out okay?" He started tentatively, Neah simply let out a long whine-like groan. The man waited a moment, not wanting to speak until the other gave him a cue for fear of incurring his twin's wrath.

"What did you do?" Neah finally moaned.

"Well…"

" _Mana_." Was grumbled warningly.

"Probably best if you just come and see…" Mana finally replied, shuffling his feet nervously. Neah pushed himself to his feet with a sigh, slowly trudging into the living room where his brother was currently standing. He then proceeded to stare, long and hard. Mana was bouncing on his heels by this point, swinging his body back and forth in a nervous jitter.

"I didn't realise he was in there 'til I got home…" He confessed lamely. There was a large doona on the floor. That wasn't the problem, he asked his twin to buy it after all. No, the _problem_ was the _child_ nestled inside, staring out at them balefully. The kid was small, Neah estimated he couldn't be more than seven or eight.

"You didn't notice the packaging was broken…?" He asked weakly, Mana simply shrugged helplessly. They both stood there quietly for a moment, the child eyeing them appraisingly.

"Well… just… take him back!" Neah finally sputtered, flailing slightly.

"Like hell." The kid spat immediately. There was no _way_ he was going back to live with his foster parents.

"Huh?!"

"You kidnapped me, now you have to deal with the consequences." The child said condemningly, looking them dead in the eyes.

"I ain't leavin'." He told them with finality, snuggling further into the confines of the doona for protection.

It took Mana almost an hour to corral the child out of the packaging, and another hour to get him to agree to changing his clothes. The clothes themselves weren't really dirty, but they were worn and tattered with age. The man frowned deeply when he spotted what looked like a large yellowing bruise near the boy's collar. He didn't point it out though, not with the way the child was shuffling and rubbing his arms in clear agitation. Mana smiled kindly down at the boy and held out his arms invitingly. The child stared at him in disbelief for a long while, but slowly accepted the wordless invitation. Mana scooped the child up happily, nuzzling his hair affectionately as he carried him to his room. It took him a few hours of digging through boxes to find some of their old clothes, and another half-hour to find something that would fit.

While helping the child into his new clothes, he saw multiples bruises in various stages of healing. He bit back a sneer at the horrible treatment. He would give this child the love he deserved. With that thought in mind, and a side-note to ask Neah about the child's _red_ arm, he finished dressing the boy and examined the clothes. Mana practically melted at the sight, cooing slightly and scooping him into his arms to show his brother. Neah was at his desk again, working on his current obsession: a mechanical golem. He had already named it (Timcanpy) so Mana knew he was going to see it through, no matter how long it took.

"Neah, Neah, look!" He called excitedly to get his brother's attention. Said brother groaned lowly, turning around and gaping.

"Isn't he cute?!" Mana chirped enthusiastically, holding up the child for him to see better. The clothes the man had chosen were indeed cute, the look in the child's eyes, however, promised murder.

"Y-yeah… cute…" Neah agreed half-heartedly, eyeing the child warily. Said child simply stared back in annoyance. Mana was absolutely beaming, sitting down on the floor with the child in his lap and chattering away about menial things.

"Oh yeah! What's your name?" He exclaimed suddenly, tilting his head to the side imploringly. The next moment there was a very loud thud, and the brunet turned to see Neah grinding his forehead into his desk.

"We forgot to ask his name…? That's literally the first thing you do…" He muttered to himself angrily. Mana stared for a moment.

"You okay?" He chirped unhelpfully. Neah waved him off immediately, so he turned back to the child expectantly.

"I don't have a name. They usually just call me "brat" or "kid"." He answered quietly, shrugging with feigned indifference.

"Eh…" Mana breathed disappointedly. These people seemed horrible, no wonder the boy didn't want to go back. The child frowned lightly, not pleased with the tone.

"They called me "red" sometimes…?" He offered weakly, half a sneer showing his displeasure at the term. Mana wrinkled his nose.

"Ick, no! You need a proper name! Hmm… How about… Allen!" He cried enthusiastically, throwing his arms in the air excitedly. The child rolled the name around on his tongue, his face brightening slightly.

"Yeah…"

"No!" Neah cried at the same time.

"Eh! Why~?" Mana whined, pouting heavily.

"Because if you name him, you'll get attached!"

"So…?"

" _Mana_!"

"Neah~!" Mana practically wailed, pouncing on the man (after carefully dislodging the child in his lap) and rubbing their faces together affectionately. Neah protested the treatment loudly, but after continuous treatment he calmed down significantly. He ended up melting into the chair while Mana curled up on top of him happily. The child stared at the twins oddly, not quite sure what to make of them. By this point Mana was sprawled across his twin's lap, staring up at him imploringly, while Neah stared down in bitter resignation. They seemed pretty good, way better than his foster parents. Not to mention Mana had only reacted to his arm with a look of mild curiosity, not disgust or disdain like everyone else. Yeah, they were pretty good… Maybe he could stay. He smiled lightly as Mana nuzzled Neah affectionately and gave him puppy dog eyes.

"So… We can keep him, right?" Mana asked happily, his only response was a noise akin to that of a dying animal.

"I'm taking that as a yes..." Mana muttered surreptitiously. Yeah, Allen could stay here.

 **~ END ~**

* * *

 **AN:** I don't know why, but I have this image of a very affectionate Mana giving his brother lots of "unwanted" attention. Also, I'm not really sure if a child could fit in a doona package unnoticed, but meh. Hope you enjoyed!

 **Omake:** _Groceries_

"We need milk." Allen called out as he took the empty carton out of the fridge and put it into the recycling were in belonged.

"Mmhmm…" Neah hummed in response, not looking up from his work.

"And bread." He called again, depositing the mouldy food into the bin with a grimace.

"Okay…" The teen sighed at his uncle's half-hearted response, glaring slightly at the man hunched over his desk.

"A unicorn just waltzed through the living room." He said airily.

"Hmm…"

"Dragons are doing the tango outside."

"Uh-huh…"

"Fairies kidnapped Tim."

"Hn…"

"Aliens invaded demanding gay rights."

"Kay…"

"Cross is the new Pope."

"Marijuana is legal now."

"Anita's pregnant with kittens."

After half an hour of increasingly wild and silly proclamations with no results, Mana having returned about half-way through, Allen finally decided he had one that might catch his uncle's attention. He crept up behind the man, making sure not to alert either of the twins to his movements, and leant forward.

"Mana said he's marrying Cross…" He whispered in the man's ear, a cheeky grin on his face. Neah hummed again, then paused, looking up and processing the information. He then proceeded to explode.

"He what?!" Neah shrieked, jumping up and knocking several things over in the process. He flailed a moment to regain his balance, Allen bursting out laughing as the man launched himself at Mana while screeching incoherently.

"Allen, what did you do~?" Mana wailed.


End file.
